Signed, sealed and delivered

The LPM is now signed off….as per my previous post all reasonable and sensible alternatives seem to have been ignored.

The 24th June is a real watershed as far as I am concerned.

Management have, as ever, taken the nod from the Home Office.

The troops are on the ropes, the whining cur that is now the FED has scuttled back to its well-appointed kennel in Leatherhead.

Do with them as you will…

And so they have …..

Efficiency… efficiency… efficiency....

The MET has only one asset that can make the whole nonsense work and that is its workforce.

A workforce that has stepped up time and again despite everything….

Management are seriously misreading local sentiment.

To quote the Eagles

‘Take it easy, take it easy

Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy

Lighten up while you still can

Don’t even try and understand

Just find a place to make your stand and take it easy’

You can have any model you want

...as long as its managements.

The ONE (and there can be only ONE) London Policing  Model rolls inexorably on to its anticipated date in June.

It is clear that they... and you can fill in whatever variation of senior management (sorry that should read senior leadership).....Home office diktat... centralized HR bean counters... have decided what they want.

It’s just a matter of counting the days to its implementation.

They have no interest if it will bring major issues to officers who will have to adapt to earlier shift times, later finish times....simply no public transport before or after certain hours .Certainly no guarantee  of parking if they have to drive in and elbow for space Mon-Friday 9-5.

But what galls me the most is this.

The PRETENCE that what is going on is up for any sensible negotiation.

If they, who inhabit the exalted halls of the chosen would just say....

 This is what we are doing ‘like it or lump it’

You could at least know where you stand

But they purvey this notion that it is being reviewed, input is being received, digested from all interested parties.

We have ‘meet the SLT stuff’ to allow issues to be ‘aired’

Frankly no-one cares what the workers think

I know that far more sensible options have been put forward to encompass what BHH is driving at but the input is being blanked ( or anyone with any weight at Borough level is so averse to put their head above the parapet  they won’t push it ) I can’t blame them.

Don’t argue with the centre.

They apparently assembled a team at what is known as ESB to look at the options.

Would any front line local firebrand or vocal supporter of those who shovel the daily stuff be seconded or volunteer to this working group?

No.

We all know what it is. It is a paper exercise to come to a known conclusion.

We are being TOLD what is happening.

The troops know when they are being ‘sold‘something.

Just be straight with them.

You might.....just might ..... get a leeeeetle more respect.

 

The above rant is an opinion based on personal observation.

 

I have no intentions as yet to hand myself into DPS.

Total chutzpah

I wondered if somewhere within the Houses of Parliament (or Fight Club as it has become known locally) Eric Joyce and Andrew  Mitchell met up for a swift couple of taxpayer subsidised ' liveners' before disappearing off for the Easter break.

Andrew 'Thrasher' Mitchell and Eric 'Are you looking at me?' Joyce have taken umbrage for various reasons at the Mets involvement in their professional and hence public  lives.

Great quote, if true, from  MP David Davis ( regarding the alleged 'leaking' of sections of the Mets CPS internal investigation into Plebgate) 'It is not for members of the Metropolitan  police to decide on their own case and it certainly not for them to attempt to spin themselves out of trouble'

Damn straight David!! If we wanted to take that line we would go cap in hand to the masters of it 'in da House'.

Not sure what Eric is trying to suggest by the bored  'doorman mentality' of officers who protect them.

If he wants G4S, or whoever wants the contract, to take over and deal with security its fine by me.

But when the massed ranks of disaffected citizens roll up outside looking for payback,  as ever the bored knuckle dragging door staff will step up and put themselves on offer to save said elected 'elite'

Witnessed some great hands on work by my colleagues over the Easter break.

We all know they hate us at HP but they could not function without us.

Happy Easter and stay safe.

Last one out...turn off the lights.

You know, its not the big stuff which tends to really grate.... its the small stuff ...the bye the bye, the minutiae that filters down from those above .

In its smallness it really explains what this organisation ,the MET, has become.

Someone out there feeds this stuff in and seem to think those reading it will think nothing of it.

I expect and I get,  the nonsense and outpourings from the politicians and the SLT. We all know were we sit. We are shafted and we are trying to make the most of it.

What I don't want to see and expect is, in the face of  20% cutbacks ,fundamental changes to our structure and working patterns and  station closures is  that we still have time for Earth Hour.

Someone, has decided we are signed up to Earth Hour,

We are expected, if there is anyone on duty or not dealing with the usual nonsense over the weekend we will try and turn off the lights for an hour.... its all part of the MPS Corporate Social responsibility program.

Recent figures suggest as much as 30% of the Met estate will be closed and sold off. All approved by the Mayors office responsible for policing.

We cant keep police stations open and yet we have someone called Head of Carbon Management paid by the MET .

Nonsense.

Where does this  end?

Are we to be pared down to offices within stations that are left, communicating by tapping on radiator's or pipes or perhaps using a shared carrier pigeon if we need to communicate with another station

The politicians in the Mayors office on policing seem to be doing enough.

The planned closures mean there will be big chunks of the Met estate who's lights will be turned off permanently.

Job done  Earth Hour....!

Hugs and decaffeinated all around !

An Inspector calls......time.

Read the post... followed the comments and the links...checked my diary to make sure the 1st April hadn't caught up with me... Looks like Mr G has called it time.

It was one of those blogs....no...it was the blog to check out when you came in off shift. If you saw something on TV or  in the rags such as the Wail you could either guarantee there would be a post..or at least the latest post would have a thread where whatever had happened would be commented on, chewed over and digested over the next 24.

Seems a little lonelier out there already...

Total nonsense

The MET apparently have (still) an MPS Environment and Sustainability Team


They also give a big shout out to the Waste and Resources Programme (WRAP)

Apparently if we all stopped throwing food away that should have been eaten it would have the same carbon impact as taking 1 in 5 cars off the road.

There is a Top Tips training slot. The workshops are at New Scotland Yard (NSY)... of course

No chance of the facilities there being capped or time limited.

There are an ever increasing number of stations whose access to food beyond a restricted time frame is nonexistent. It means struggling for change and buying (and over paying) for basic snacks in machines.

God help you if you have an office toaster tucked away somewhere. You have been told!

We are in the middle of the biggest fundamental change to Met structure in decades.

Large swathes of civilian staff (back office) are on their way out. We are closing large portions of the Met Estate. Nothing is sacred. Sir Bernard’s One London model is creating some eye wincing shift patterns.

However as long as there is someone out there banging the drum for the METS Corporate Social Responsibility program (CSR strategy) all is well

According to the splurge the average UK worker spends £1200 on lunches each year.

Frankly, like most of my colleagues, I am not your average worker.

I invariably eat at my desk. I bring sandwiches into work or something quick I can quick heat in the industrial sized microwave off the canteen.

I can’t recall the last time I sat away from a terminal for a refreshment break...and don’t start me on my culinary practices when I do get home

My shifts and finish times are such that I am too tired and spend most of my time throwing something frozen into the microwave when I do get home. Considering the recent scandals I have probably eaten the equivalent of the race card of the 1.30 at Cheltenham.

I am sure the people behind the Environment and Sustainability Team are earnest people but as I keep getting told by SLT we have to cut our cloth etc...

By the way if you have a soft cucumber to sort out check out the classes on the 13th....

Total whimsy

Rumours are being heard that the Vatican has made discrete approaches to Sir Bernard Hogan Howe asking if he wishes to be considered on the short list for the upcoming Papal vacancy.


Insiders believe he could bring a fresh take to the Catholic Church bringing in a vibrant concept of Total Christianity.

They believe he may have been making subtle overtones for the position with his introduction of the Ten Commitments and also regular meetings called Breakfast with the Commissioner. Although not exactly the Last Supper, it rarely attracts more than 12 people and the symbolism has hit a chord with the Church.

It’s admitted that the introduction of an outsider to an organisation that has been around for so long will be controversial. However they have been particularly taken with the gospel according to Winsor and see this as a first step to bringing the Church into the brave new world of the 21st century.

Other ideas being floated are the delving into other untapped talent. Those that might be considering a career in the police might try for a fast track promotion to Bishop and Archbishop.

A Vatican insider said ‘They would get to wear a ‘pointy hat’ when they are promoted and not have to wear it during their probation’

Noises from the Commissioner’s Office are apparently mixed. There is some indignation at the potential ‘tapping up’ by the Vatican.

Unofficial comments are that ‘the Commissioner has no intention of taking this offer seriously. He knows there are still a number of the unconverted in his current flock and wants to work to bring those back into the fold. The Word is out there and there can be nothing but the Word’

......and so it was thus.