Tuesday, April 03, 2007


Bereft of anything, even remotely interesting, passing before my eyes when I log on at the start of my shift I sought sanctuary elsewhere.

We MUST be up to something..thinking outside the box..going into places no Service has feared to tread, forward looking..politically correct.. Health and Safety conscious.. anxious 'not to offend anyone' type of organisation that we are.

I Googled 'the Met' and came up with this

Mmmmmm..Personnel News.I did check to make sure it wasnt dated 1st April.

As a dip into any police blog will tell you..in the world of UK law enforcement Truth is nearly always more bizarre than Fiction

According to the Journalists beavering away at this particular magazine, parts of Basic training at that Hallowed ground in Hendon is being hived off to?...Asda..Tesco..Waitrose..

So those skills and knowledge that will come to so much use later on the street are being developed and honed between Tills 1-30 at whatever venue gets the bid.

So when I wander into the custody, nursing my first cup of tea of the day and ask the probationer what have you got for me?... and then read the very sparse handover package.. what do I do? Say something or give them a bit of leeway because they could tell me which aisle has the Frozen Peas or the best of the 'Buy one Get one free' offers.

In my humblest opinion this is likely to be just the start of privatising Police training away from established and respected training centres.

Neurotic?.. well maybe I am... but Hendon occupies a prime site covering many acres in a reasonable area.. close to all amenities and transport links.. blah blah blah.

Why not come out with it? Just admit at some stage they are going to carve,if not all, large chunks of it off.

Will it come to the stage were we are reduced to training our upcoming Police officers by Correspondence.. notes and DVDs by post?.. very family friendly.

Perhaps a Tutorial day, every two weeks, with your Tutor constable. Bit like the 'Open University' but with High Viz jackets.

Policing in this country is being farmed out.

Its now just a matter of who runs the Farm.


Blogger totallyun-pc said...

Would officer dibble please come to check out number 4 please!

2:56 PM  
Blogger unlikely cop said...

And of course should the queue hold 2 or more customers another PC will be wheeled out immediately sir...

We could do fitness tests by trolley dash, literacy tests can be done from the back of a crisp packet and driving instruction will be done two-up on a forklift truck.

We can get Injury Lawyers for the Shiftless to give the input on the law (they’ll know it better than anyone round our place anyway) and the swimming test will be replaced with lessons in “how not to drown in crap.”

Grannies can be helped across the aisles and Road Traffic Accidents will be recorded whenever two trolleys collide and there is an injury caused or damage to any pre-packed product or the fixture on which it was standing.

We will be able to introduce the “selling nearly out of date food cheaply” act and PCSO’s can be given lessons in standing at the doors greeting the customers without knowing where anything is.

Perhaps Dale Winton can bring his “Supermarket Sweep” skills to bear as training co-ordinator.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Officer Dibble said...

I would copyright some of that. Its likely to find its way into someones training package at these new establishments!

You know..perhaps I'm being too pessimistic.

Thinking about it some of the retail technology could be adapted.

For instance if we were allowed to permanently Bar Code our regular 'customers'.
Instead of the usual queue of faces outside custody waiting to get booked in with the same old details ,just run them past a scanner... job done.

4:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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4:23 PM  

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