Thursday, September 11, 2008

The End is not Nigh.

It was in some way reassuring that my Wednesday shift had not been engulfed by a Cosmic Cataclysm when the Techs at CERN turned on the switch at 8am.Though I did harbour a vague hope that a small spin off 'black hole' might appear under my desk and devour the paperwork awaiting File on Division and Exhibits awaiting return to stores.

How's that for an excuse to the snotty E mail on property..'Sorry, a randomly generated black hole from CERN sucked it all up into a place as yet unknown'.

I have actually been quite interested in the build up to this CERN experiment.

It is clear that those in charge of overseeing the contracts for building this experiment have never employed any firm that the MET have given their hard tendered cash to.

I have never...ever.. ever.. known a construction /revamp job at a station be completed on time.For example there would be the usual 'Custody at XXXXX will be closed for a period of 5 weeks and re-open on the 23rd of XXXX. The old suite at XXXX will be re-opened and cover over this period.

This declaration would often lead to a 'Book' being formed and bets placed as to the ACTUAL date that the suite would open.The optimists would go for 2-3 weeks after the said deadline.The grizzled veterans would not put a date any earlier than 5-10 weeks. To make it interesting we would put a side bet on how long it would take AFTER the re-opening for it to be closed again because of 'unforeseen problems'

Usually worth at least a two or three week side bet.

The technology a CERN can send beams at near the speed of light.

I spent an evening recently awaiting an E mail with an MG3 attachment from CPS Direct. I was on the phone and the reviewing lawyer said 'I have sent it over now'
It took 25 minutes from sending to appear in my inbox.

He works in BRADFORD!!!

CERN are looking to unravel the innermost secrets of the Universe.

I would settle for knowing what Team, shift and place of work I am going to be working on over the next year.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

25 minutes for an email! I feel your pain.

In Hilltown we still have to use the fax machine and you would not believe the bitching I get when I say this to CPS direct.

5:24 AM  

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